Coffee Table

Hello again. Happy New Year!

I’m sorry I was busy during the holidays. I got sidetracked. Mostly because I was with solitude up until my loved ones needed me to host and to be in the spirit of the season. It was, actually a stoic kind of holiday. Nothing was merry. But, perhaps, it wasn’t about feelings, it is about just being content that I am still here, privilege to celebrate important occasions. Nevertheless, you can’t prevent yourself from getting all deadpanned and passive. You get the picture.

Anyway, I brought a coffee table. My home is still empty as you can see. I decided to get this since I needed something to put the cup of tea, coffee, water or milkshake on (with coasters, of course!).

It is getting colder now than before here in the Philippines. The world is still moving with bustling noises and busy streets. My countrymen are continuing to fight day by day to survive. My friends keep on achieving their goals, maybe a few of them are still clueless, nonetheless, they are getting one step ahead towards their destination.

I, on the other hand, am here. Discovering new things, being a one call away friend, battling my own war–mostly against myself. Though not gonna lie, I am struggling to move. While I look up to my dearest friends and family who are braving their way through life, here I am, standing in front of my window, my eyes wandering off somewhere, sipping a cup of hot chocolate with a lot in mind.

A decade has passed. I can’t help myself from getting jaded. 2019 was a wrap up for me—a shattering one.  It took a toll in my life.

The question, “What do I want to do?” turned in to, “What was I made to do?” Passion changes overtime, so I need to find my purpose and for me to find it, I need to start looking for it, right?

This, I realized along the way, if we believed that we all are a work in progress, we should note that someone is meant to do great things despite their flaws, and identities. We should try our best not to be a stumbling block to someone else’s growth.

Okay, wait, since the sun is about to set, I’m going to just strip myself naked to give you context. No, not that naked. But I want you to see through me since I let you in my home. We are most vulnerable and open here. Bear with me because, I somewhat find it hard to open up. I’m kind of… aloof.

Here it goes.

My Kuya Josh asked me this one time, “If money is not an issue, what do you want to do?” I froze, thinking the answer through. At the back of my mind I was asking myself, “Why can’t I answer that question? It wasn’t even rocket science!” I was petrified.

Eventually, I got the courage to say, “connecting with the community,”

We all want to do great and be extra-ordinary. I’ve read somewhere that each one of us want to be exceptional. And if most of us are already, then, nobody is.

Apostle Paul said in Romans 8 verse 28, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, those who are called according to His purpose.” I hang on to that promise. Regardless of what age, what is meant for you will always be for you.

Okay, I sounded like an author of a self-help book. Sheesh. Blame the New Year’s blues.

Before I forgot, I just wanna say this, too. I know it’s hard for us to see the beauty in life since there is too much evil lurking around us. It’s so hard to believe anymore. However, I want to empower you (and myself) to see another lens. To pause for a while and listen. Listen to the silent hums of flowers, to the dancing trees and echoing nature. And then, embrace the contentment—the truth that among all that blameless beauty, we are the most favored. 🙂

Oh, by the way, I am giving you a preview of what I hang on my walls here in the living room. Mostly, photographs.

Okay. Ready?

Published by shaneelaiza

I am my Father's daughter.

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